I am currently failing at absolutely bloody everything. Everything. There is nothing I can do that 1000 other people can’t do 1000 times better than me. I don’t want to try and do my A levels to only end up with D’s or E’s. I don’t even want C’s and that the moment that's the highest I’m going to be getting, so why even bother? Why not just drop out now and get a job?

Because to get a job at 16 with very mediocre GCSE results I would need some sort of skill, which I lack. I lack any sort of talents because I am just a person here to make up the numbers. It’s people like me that are to blame for overpopulation; the useless ones who bring nothing into the world.

I want to write. I want to be a journalist, or a novelist, or a poet, or a scriptwriter or something, but no, that unrealistic and will never happen. So what do I do? Do I do my A levels, not do particularly well, and then not know what to do? or do I just not know what to do now? Is this what adult life is supposed to be like? Because if it is growing up is overrated.

[Added April 3rd 2009]

Oh, and to make things even better, deviantART have decided to delete one of my deviations, which is fair enough as I later discovered it did go against their rules, but they didn't warn me or anything, it was there one second and gone the next. The computer that the image was on to start with crashed so the only copy I had was on here, and deviantART are being utterly bloody useless at responding to my questions about whether there is a way for me to get the file back just so I can save it on my current computer and it isn't lost forever... although I have a funny feeling it will be.

This whole thing has gotten me a bit fed up with deviantART. I doubt I'll be uploading much else ever. It seems a bit ridiculous to delete someones work without warning, from just one complaint, when there was not that much to be offended about by the photograph to start with. There was no nudity, nothing vulgar like half the other "art" on this site, just scars.. well guess what, scars exist; deal with it. I even put a little disclaimer thing on it saying if anyone was offended to tell me and I'd take it down, but no, some twat goes and reports it. Brilliant, that's exactly what I need right now, more things to fail at. I hope you're happy.

Yes, I truly am sick of this site. Prehaps I'll see you on flickr, or livejournal at some point if I ever get round to using my acounts on those.

Take care & best wishes
xx